


It's Seriously Just a Trio

by neosaiyanangel



Category: Kim Possible (Cartoon)
Genre: Anal Sex, Community: Kim Possible Slash Haven, Cousin Incest, Doing Terrible Things to a Kid's Show, Dom/sub Undertones, I Don't Even Know, I have no idea what I'm doing, Multi, Penis In Vagina Sex, Porn, Threesome - F/M/M, Vines, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 02:48:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13425120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neosaiyanangel/pseuds/neosaiyanangel
Summary: First chapter doesn't have porn. It has a thin layer of slice-of-life. See next chapter for the porniness!





	1. Everyday Life

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter doesn't have porn. It has a thin layer of slice-of-life. See next chapter for the porniness!

Adrenaline pumped through the moustachioed man as his wicked dream machine busted the sound barrier. The bike in question was currently in hover mode, letting him fly across the ocean surface like it was concrete.

Eddie always loved it when he could open 'er up and rip across whatever he was riding on. Nothing beat the thrill of an awesome semi-legal blitz.

...well, maybe  _ one _ thing now after he'd found it, but he didn't want to get too sappy when he was rocking one of his awesome rides.

The beastly offspring of his mechanical genius had only gotten better since he moved in to live with the two loves of his life. Drew was kinda lame when it came to making his own tech. Sit him down with someone else's tech, though, and he would seriously rock it out. It was how they'd managed to make the wheel/hover transition in stuff like the bike he was on flow like rock music. Sheegs helped out too by popping their maddie dreams and forcing them to be practical and stuff. It was kinda lame, but she helped to keep the two of them out of trouble and most of the dangers of being  _ seriously _ gnarly inventor genius types.

But not  _ completely _ out of danger. It hadn't really seemed like a problem; some dork of a villain actually thought she could take any of the three of them and had come to steal some of their stuff. As the kid was led off in handcuffs after getting caught in a headlock by the motorman himself, she'd complained about how it 'wasn't stealing, it was outsourcing'. For some reason Sheegs started laughing hard enough to fall over and Drew's face turned a violent shade of purple as he stomped back into their home.

Eddie let out a wild howl as he spotted the island that he called home. He revved the engine, eager to get inside and wash off the proof of his tinkering at the GJ base. The bike easily jumped up into the little alcove he and his maddie cousin had whipped up at the base of their building. The motorman flipped the conversion switch right when he hit the rocky beach, near instantly pulling the hover thrusters in and bustin' out the vehicle's seriously awesome monster wheels. The transition also deployed airbrakes and a new tech his cuz had adapted from the Lorwardians, which they’d dubbed a ‘grav brake’. Both worked to slow him to a measly 5 miles-per within thirty feet of landing, without causing the big mechanic any harm.

As he pulled deeper into the large lower basement that was his garage and motor park, the bald man snorted as he thought back to the lame call from work he'd gotten.

The branch of GJ that he did most of his work for had called him in all emergency-like. Said they were stuck in deciphering the Lorwardian tech stuff, that the blueprint things they found locked deep in the computer thingy didn't make sense, and told him to come in. He'd almost told 'em off for trying to boss him around, but held his tongue as he realized he didn't really have much else to do what with his partners also getting called for work and most of his garage buddies were in jail again. It would at least burn some time.

He'd walked in to a gaggle of nerd-types hanging around a printout of what had been in the Lorwardian records. Eddie wasn't sure why it was urgent or whatever, but it didn't really matter to him. He sauntered over through the herd to get close enough to take a look, ignoring the stupid judgy looks he got from most of 'em. It had only taken the bald man about 5 seconds of looking at it before he found the problem. He'd made sure to give all of them an extra withering frown as he took the schematics and flipped them upside-down. At least most of them had the presence of mind to look bashful. Then they’d gawked at him when he’d pointed out that it was obviously a scoop that used energy fields to scavenge gases from interstellar space or high planetary orbit.

Amateurs, all of them.

It was a totally lame thing to get brought in to work on, but what can ya do when none of your help can measure up to the motorman’s awesome abilities? At least he'd gotten to go to his little work area there and dabble in some fluid mechanics for the plasma conduits they’d downloaded from the same computer earlier in the week before they scooted his temp butt out.

He walked up the far too numerous steps from his 'mini-lair', as Drew had dubbed it, to get to the main floor, wondering once again why Sheegs and Drew didn't seem to care about getting an elevator. It was totally bogus that they shut him down on that. Drew'd said it helped to cut down on uninvited guests somehow and started ranting about those girly scouts.

Eddie was mindlessly walking up the stairs, his mind working on how to incorporate that sweet Lorwardian tech he'd seen in the schematic into his next project, when he was brought out of his thoughts by a rustling sound under his feet. Almost startled, he looked down at what in the world it was.

Oh. It was just the Middleton newspaper. Still was weird to him that they got the paper, both the why  _ and _ the how. Eddie'd given up on figuring out that mystery a while ago. From the looks of it, Drew spaced off and wandered off after dropping it again. Eddie picked it up and deposited it in the kitchen on the way to their bedroom, then took a few moments to tidy up the mess left on the counter. He knew Shego would roast Drew's hiney again if she stumbled upon the mess he'd left.

Ed wandered into the bedroom, expecting to find Drew or Shego doing their relaxing pastimes (building little doodads for Drew and sunbathing for Shego) or, if they were both home, getting down and dirty. To his mild confusion, neither of them were in the bedroom. Shrugging to himself, he got out of his nasty work clothes, making sure to put them in the hamper to avoid Sheegs' wrath, and took a quick shower. Again, as with the last few months, he totally admired the soap that Drew had made that smelled okay and seriously washed motor oil 'n' stuff off like it was regular old dirt.

Once the last dredges of filth had been stripped off of him, the bald man dried himself off and dressed himself in a loose pair of button fly jeans. No shirt or boxers since he was totally in his own home. Besides, it'd be seriously bogus to make Drew have to do more laundry than was already piled up.

Deciding to just laze about with one or both of his partners the rest of the day, Eddie made his rounds in the obscenely large island home in search of them. While he'd expected to see whichever one of ‘em in the bedroom, it wasn't as if they were chained to it. There were plenty of other places the two could've been.

His confusion grew as he walked through the main kitchen where he'd dropped the newspaper off at and looked into the living room. Neither of them were hanging out in there, which was kinda weird. The mustachioed man was pretty sure that Drew's contract with GJ had a provision in it that gave him the Saturday morning cartoon block off. It would have to be something seriously important for Drew to willingly miss it without makin' sure that either Eddie or Shego were here to record it.

Neither were they in the grand uber-new luxury bathroom made to fit the three of them. Nor were they in the attached workout gym that Shego’d set up for the three of them. Ed didn't really need it since workin' with all the mechanical stuff kept him in shape. Drew, on the other hand, had filled out in subtle yet appreciative ways from the new workout routine that Sheegs had forced on them. It was pretty funny; his cuz both bitched at the 'time wasted' and preened at his improving physicality.

Eddie ended his search in Drew's lab. It was a long shot at this point as his little cousin had moved most of his inventing and planning stuff to the upper floors to give the motorman more room for his hotrods, but there was a chance that he was crafting something ginormous and that Sheegs was right there riding his ass (figuratively).

And, as with all the other places, his partners weren't there. He was seriously the first, and only, one home? That was kinda weird. What in the world were those two doing that would have 'em gone for even longer than the mechanical genius that was the motorman?

Almost as an answer to his confusion, the now-familiar sound of Shego's jet pulling into the docking area caught his attention. He tried not to act too eager for company as the green woman strolled in from the hanger holding a VHS tape and clad in her work attire, the usual harlequin get-up.

"Heya Sheegs!" Eddie opened his arms to give his partner a hug.

She walked around him.

"Ouch! Seriously gonna do me like that?" the bald man practically whined against his will. "I was waitin' for you to show up for the last half-hour. Seriously!"

She didn't even bother to stop or turn around, yelling over her shoulder, "Not right now, Sweetcheeks. Mama's got something she has to watch." Eddie opened his mouth, but was cut off with her noting almost harshly, " _ Alone _ ."

Eddie knew what that tone meant. His shoulders sunk down, realizing that he was totally not gonna be hangin' around with his favorite lady until she was good and ready to. Seriously rank!

He watched her shapely rear retreat to the bedroom as he wished again that she would let him tag along... It was totally okay, though. Cousin Drew should be back any minute, and that would mean that there would at least be some awesome snuggles on the couch. His blue cousin was a total snuggle bug when he finished working on stuff that other people couldn't figure out.

Yup, any minute...

...

Except there'd never been a time that both Eddie and Sheegs beat him home...

Concerned, he pulled out his awesome cousin-made mobile phone that supposedly got coverage everywhere except for Middleton Peak right there in Colorado and Latveria and called up Drew’s cell. After several rings, just as Eddie was about to give up and cancel the call, it was answered.

“ _ What is it?! _ ” his cousin’s voice snarled from the other end with such vitriol that Eddie had to pull the phone away from his ear for a moment. Blinking in mild confusion, he tentatively brought the phone back to his ear and cleared his throat.

"Heya Drew. I, uh, was just checkin' on ya. 'cause you're not home," Eddie said, suddenly feeling all kinds of lame for bugging his cousin while he was working. "Me an' Shego are here. Just, I dunno... Got worried."

"Ah." Drew sounded like he had deflated at the motorman's pathetic rambling for some reason. "I, erm... I'm... Nnngh..." He took a big breath and said in a rush, "Sorryforyellingatyou."

Eddie chuckled good-naturedly. "No prob, Cuz. Ya sound kinda stressed."

The younger man grunted in disgust, noting angrily, "Yes, well, it's not so easy explaining  _ BASIC FUNDAMENTALS OF MAD SCIENCE _ ,” the last few words were yelled with the phone clearly pulled away, likely so Drew could yell at someone "to pathetically useless scientists who can't seem to understand how to even make a freezing ray."

"Seriously?" The motorhead wasn't much for mad science — well, sciency-type mad science, that was more Drew's schtick — but even  _ he _ knew about the theory that allowed the bending of the laws of thermodynamics. No wonder Drew was frustrated.

"Seriously!" Eddie groused good naturedly, chuckling slightly, "That's totally bogus, bro."

"TELL me about it. It's like trying to teach toddlers! They talk big about 'laws being immutable'. Pah! I just can't believe..."

It was pretty clear Drew was going into rant mode. That meant Eddie would be stuck for however long while his younger partner worked off the steam blowing outta his ears. Ah well. He wandered into the kitchen, ear still to the phone and a plan in his mind. Sheegs was preoccupied, Drew was teaching some dumb people basic stuff that would probably take forever, and he was hungry and a little bored. Nabbing a snack and reading the paper while his cousin ranted a bit seemed like a solid enough plan.

Eddie rustled up the paper as he held the phone to his ear with his shoulder. While it would've been more awesome for the motorman to just set the phone down while Drew rambled, he had come to find out by a boredom-induced accident that the blue man nearly always ended up in a good mood post-rant if whoever he was chatting with made some kind of noises that indicated they were listening. It made sense; Drew liked to vent and get attention, so when he started bitching it was kinda like a twofer for him.

Eddie had just opened the page to sports, having skimmed a bit on world events and crap, when Drew started winding down from his rant. “Well, I guess I need to get back to trying to  _ fix _ the  _ incompetence _ of these so-called ‘doctors’.” Drew spat, “Feh! With the qualifications they have, it’s a wonder that I didn’t get my PhD my first year of college.”

“Maybe ‘cause you never finished your first year, Cuz,” Eddie said absentmindedly as he flipped another page of the paper. A second of thought accompanied by the low, frustrated growl from the phone made it clear that that was a  _ very _ stupid thing to say. Trying to rebound, he added hastily, “Not that you needed it. You totally knew enough in the first month to blow most of them outta the water. Seriously!”

Drew’s tone immediately changed. “Exactly!” Suddenly chipper, the blue man chirped, “I’ll pick up some pizza or something on the way home. Goodness knows none of us will be up for cooking after working such annoying tasks.”

Eddie gave the phone a puzzled frown. “You know what the goddess was doin’ today?”

“Ha! Fat chance,” his cousin laughed on the other end. “No, I just know Shego, and she doesn’t like to bother doing anything else besides suntanning or something relaxing like it after a job.”

Eddie joined in with a chuckle of his own. He knew  _ exactly _ what Drew was referring to. There was a nervous silence on Drew’s end that sparked some confusion in the motorman until he heard the other man say, “I, ah, love you,  _ Cuz _ .”

It was an embarrassed stutter, the blue man’s mouth tripping over the still unfamiliar term of endearment. To most, it was an innocuous reference to their relations, nothing out of place. To  _ them _ , however, it was warmer and more intimate, a sweet nickname that they could both agree to. Well, that they’d  _ had _ to agree to; after trying several of them, and annoying Sheegs to no end, the Green Goddess had lost her temper and told them that ‘Cuz’ was all they could use.

Apparently the two of them got to be kinda annoying sometimes when they bickered. Who knew?

Eddie hesitated only a second after Drew spoke before he warmly replied, “Love you too, Cuz. See ya whenever you get back!”

He could practically feel his cousin's smile through the line. "Definitely!" Drew’s voice grew faint as he began yelling, "No, you idiot, you turn it to the  _ left _ ...!" Just before his cuz hung up, there was an odd sound, like fingernails on a chalkboard mixed with pigs squealing and frying steak on the other end, followed by a plaintive, “Nnnaaanngggh, idiots!”

Eddie chuckled as he put his phone away. Sounded like Drew would probably be extra snuggly when he got back. The more frustrated he got at others, the more he wanted to touch the people he cared about.

At least he knew now why Drew was taking so long. Looks like Eddie was in for a quiet day until his cousin finished telling those bozos off. That was okay. He could still snack and finish reading the paper, then probably go down and work on the hotrod project that he’d been sitting on for a few weeks.

Having thrown together a halfway decent plan, Eddie made to stand up from the table to nab some more food to pair with the newspaper.

And then Sheegs walked into the kitchen.


	2. Three Minus One is Not So Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never really written something like this before. Constructive criticism from peeps that know what they're talking about would be greatly appreciated!

Eddie could tell right away that something was...  _ Off _ . She more wandered in than anything, her gaze slightly unfocused, wearing her bathroom-only robe of silk designed with prancing tigers and crap.

"Uh, Shego? You okay?" He put the paper on the table and watched her curiously.

She looked at him, a sly smile on her face, as she seemed to consider him. A few awkward seconds passed, and as Eddie opened his mouth to ask again she finally said something.

"C'mon Eddie... Let's get dirty." She practically stalked over, her eyes full of enough lust to make a love goddess blush.

"Y'know that Drew totally hates being left out of stuff like this," he protested, leaning back in his chair even as she crawled into his lap.

"It's time to  _ play _ ," Sheegs purred as she scraped her nails lightly against his bald head, “Now, Baldy!”

"Shego, seriously, what about Drew?" Eddie asked nervously, looking around as if expecting him to pop out of nowhere. "Y'know he totally wouldn't like us-.."

Her fingers pressed against his mouth.

"Don't worry so much...  _ I'll _ deal with him..." Green said as she loosened her silky robe, letting one of her breasts come free. The nipple was already hard. She forced his head down to chest level and commanded, " _ Suck _ ."

Ed knew better than to try and argue with the Green Goddess when she was this worked up. Praying that Drew wouldn't be too harsh with punishment later, he did as he was told and latched on the raised nub with his lips.

"Mmmm..." She leaned on him, pushing herself against his leg, and wiggled against it. Eddie could feel she was already wet.  _ No surprise there,  _ he thought as he rolled his tongue along her areola, taking care to flick her nipple lightly with his tongue.

"Harder," Sheegs said sternly, pushing him harder into her breast as she gripped his head painfully.

_ Woah. She must  _ seriously _ be ready for this! _ Eddie thought with surprise. It usually took a gradual increase of pressure for Shego to want it harder like that. Something must've  _ really _ turned her on...

Obliging her request, he began to suck hard on her nipple, letting his moustache scratch against the sensitive edges. She growled, grabbing his shoulders and riding his leg. Her eyes were closed, which is why his fingers reaching between her legs and rubbing the top of her slit managed to take her by surprise

"Oh yesssss,  _ gooood _ boy," she gasped, leaning her head back as she bit her lip. "Keep going..."

Eddie complied, brushing his teeth roughly against the nipple as he rubbed his fingers between her folds. She moaned and wiggled, pushing hard against his fingers with every stroke. The sound, feel, and smell of her excitement was serving to work the motorman up, and he started to rub his growing erection against her leg.

After a few minutes of the increasingly hot and rough makeout  —  during which her robe ended up on the floor and his pants were unbuttoned and unzipped  — Shego stood shakily even with his fingers still at work and growled, "Living room.  _ NOW _ ."

She led him over to the couch and pushed him onto his back, taking care not to dislodge his mouth or his fingers. Eddie gulped as Shego reached down and ripped his jeans’ fly open, pulling his semi-hardon out roughly. Whenever she was like this, she totally tended to be way harsh with the touching. As feared and hoped, she began to roughly pump him, a wicked smirk on her face. And, as he and his couple had found, it seriously turned him on. It wasn't even a minute before he went from halfmast to full, and the pressure was building enough to hurt.

He stopped working on her, withdrawing his fingers and mouth so he could complain, "S-seriously, Green, I-.."

"What was that?" she asked huskily, tightening her hold on his junk painfully. Letting up a second later, long enough to get the message across, Shego continued, "Were you going to suggest sex? Because..." She  _ ripped _ his jeans’ last button free, then raked both of her hands down the inseam, her preternaturally hard and sharp fingernails slicing easily through the rugged material. When her hands got to the knees, her strength easily allowed her to continue the slice in a loud rip, before tugging them out from under him to toss carelessly behind her. "If you were..." she straddled him and lowered herself on his lap, then rubbed her wet pussy along his erection "...I  _ wholeheartedly _ agree..."

Eddie gasped at the pleasant friction; though, as he had learned, he was  _ very much _ a gentleman's man, he couldn't deny that he still enjoyed rolling in the sac with women.  _ Especially _ a woman as aggressive as Shego!

"Sh-Sheegs..." His hands grabbed at her hips as he looked up at her. She grabbed his penis, brushing the head against her clit a few times before lining him up and shoving the tip inside her.

Eddie moaned as he instinctively pushed all the way inside her, gripping her hips firmly to hold her in place. Shego sat impaled on him, wiggling her hips slightly but otherwise unmoving, for a few seconds, a goofily pleased expression crossed her face.

"Oooohhhhh yeeeaaaahhh..." she sighed, spreading her fingers out along his stomach. "Mama Shego  _ likes _ ..." Setting her hips in motion, she said, "Just like that..."

Eddie shoved himself into and out of her a few times, working to try and match the rhythm she was setting. The many sexual encounters they'd had in the last month served them well, getting them synced up in less than a minute of slightly off humping.

Eddie watched the clearly ecstatic woman, letting his mind wander as his body did the work. Being under Green Babe like this felt good, but it didn't feel...  _ Good.  _ Satisfying. Eddie really, really wanted Drew to be there. To take him from behind, feel the warm pleasant pressure of his cousin's cock inside him, like how he was in Sheegs... It was seriously pathetic that he was too busy being jealous of Green Babe to fully enjoy fucking her!

"I wish Cuz was here..." Eddie said with a small whine, his thrusting slowing.

"Hrmph..." Shego stopped, glaring at the motorman like he had wronged her. With a frown, she agreed, "I do too..." At the bald man's blinks of confusion, she huffed, "Look, you can get the train out of the station and going, but you just can't get it over the hill, if you know what I mean. Doc... Well, after the first few times..." A distant grin crossed her face for a moment, even as she sighed in disappointment. Looking away, she said, “So... Yeah, I wish Doc was here, too..."

"Ask and ye shall receive!" a voice boomed from across the room.

"Doc?"

"Cuz?"

"Oh, I've been here for a while...  _ Enjoying the scenery... _ " 

"What you mean is that you were waiting for the perfect time to speak up and get in some kind of terrible joke or something," Green said, unimpressed.

There was a small pause before Drew harrumphed and grunted, "Oh! Well then! I guess I should just  _ leave _ then an-.."

"No!" Eddie and Sheegs shouted in unison, both trying and failing to get up as they were still entangled, Shego adding, “Don’t you dare walk away,  _ Drewbie _ !”

"Glad to hear it," he said with some dark pleasure, clearly surprising Shego and catching Eddie a little off guard as well. They heard his footsteps as he walked over to where the two of them could see him. It was rather clear  _ why _ Cousin Drew had simply watched; he was devoid of clothing save for his briefs, and his stiff cock was visible through the fabric.

The motorman's insides clenched at the sight, the  _ need _ pressing against him as he looked at the blue man. His feelings must have been painfully obvious as a smug smirk appeared on Drew's face.

"It seems that you both need me to step in and help finish... However..." Eddie and Shego both squawked as a set of vines extricated them from each other "I think  _ both _ of you need some punishment for starting without me..." Drew said, separating the two of them to opposite sides of the couch and looking between them with a sadistic glint in his eye.

"Drakken, if you think you can-.." Shego started only to be cut off as Drew flipped Eddie onto his stomach.

"On your hands and knees," the scientist ordered his cousin. Eddie was  _ more _ than happy to comply, though there was apprehension clearly visible on his face. Just as he settled on his knees, Drew laid himself against the bald man's back. His erection rubbed at the top of Eddie's crack, the anticipation of feeling it inside him making the motorhead moan in desire. Into his ear, the younger man huskily asked as he pushed against Eddie, "You  _ want  _ this, don't you?"

“Y-yeah...” The motorman desperately stuttered as he rubbed his butt into Drew's hips, "Seriously, Cuz, I, I need it  _ bad _ ..."

“Drew...” Shego growled dangerously, but the vines tightened around her body, and another came up and clamped roughly around her mouth, turning her further words into a jumbled muffle.

"I can tell," Drew noted lowly, ignoring Shego with a throaty chuckle as he spread his fingers along Eddie's hips. The seriously hard teasing was torture, and the older man couldn't help but to let out a keening whine. The dark-haired man spread his older cousin's asscheeks apart and continued, "Oh, don't worry Eddie... You'll get what you want..." Something long and hard pressed against Eddie's asshole, making him clench in anticipation. "However..." Eddie had a half-second of realization before two of Drew's entwined vines forced themselves none-too-gently into him. Choking down a yell, the motorman heard Drew say, "You need to learn a lesson first..."

Eddie buried his head into the couch cushion and gripped its edges tightly as the vines worked to bury themselves deeply inside of him. It hurt so,  _ so _ good... One of his fists pounded the cushion as they pulled themselves out only to shove in farther still.

Through the haze of pain and pleasure, he heard Drew say, "As for you, Sweetie..."

Sheegs mumbled something incoherent, then let out a squeak, making Eddie turn to look at her. Drew’s vines had spread apart and twined themselves around her body to look like that one Japanese bondage video Shego liked. Shinbobi? Shibarbi? Something like that... And made her look incredibly hot and vulnerable at once. Then the end of one of the vines began whipping smartly against her left nipple, drawing an odd, frustrated, angry and wanton noise from the woman. “What was that, Sweetie?” Drew asked innocently, finally dropping the vine from around her mouth.

"You think you're gonna punish  _ me _ ?" Sheegs said defiantly, shifting on the couch. "Ha! Fat chance, Drew. What do you thi-.." She stopped talking for a moment, then Eddie heard her choke and gasp a little before a string of low moans sounded from her. They grew increasingly louder, with Drew's vicious cackling being audible through the whole thing. He glanced down her body and saw that Drew was pumping other vines into both of her lower orifices, shocking Eddie since she rarely allowed backdoor  _ play _ , let alone  _ penetration _ !

Eddie was brought to painful awareness of his own penetration by the sudden pressure of the vines stretching out inside him. He couldn't bite down on the pain as he howled in delight and agony. It felt like something was tearing a little from the rough treatment, but he simply didn’t  _ care _ .

"Good..." Drew said from behind him, apparently watching the two of them suffer his wonderful punishments.

The vine wriggled and rubbed, pushing again and again and  _ again _ into his ass. A tendril wrapped itself around his balls and squeezed lightly even as it stroked. It was so painfully good that Eddie was starting to be at risk of blowing his load before he could even finish his punishment.

Just as he began to try and let Drew know, Shego cried out something that he was too far gone to understand, and his cousin’s vines stopped their ministrations and withdrew, to both his relief and frustration. He gave himself a handful of seconds to just try and catch his breath and to give his poor abused ass a rest. Drew's voice was murmuring, the words too quiet for Eddie to hear, and Sheegs snickered about something... Eddie began to try and sit up again, yet stopped when the small, familiar hands of his cousin wrapped around his middle.

"So,  _ Ed _ ," Drew whispered as he leaned against the motorman's back again, his erection shamelessly rubbing on Eddie's bottom, "do you know what you did wrong...?"

"I, I, ah..." Trying to think through the lust, Eddie said, "I should, like, run away from Sheegs if she's horny until you get back? 'Cause, uh, we shouldn't have hot sex without you?"

A snort was heard behind him, but Eddie cared more for the hum of approval and the feel of Drew applying some lube to his ass. The bald man bent over more, letting his face press against the cushion as he waited for his cousin to start.

Even though he'd been waiting, Drew still managed to take him by surprise; the blue man shoved himself fully into Eddie, the priming his asshole got from the vines having paved the way, and Drew pulled himself forward and bit the side of the older man's neck.

Eddie gasped, his back arching, as his cousin pumped himself in and out at an almost frantic pace. Drew's grunts accompanied every stroke, each of which burned the larger man's insides with such pleasure that he was quickly approaching his destination.

He began to mumble and beg, "Oh god, Drew, seriously, please keep going, please keep going..." He tried to hold out as long as he could, trying to get every last bit of enjoyment from his cousin's ministrations. There were soft moans from behind him, distracting him slightly... Which was when the vines curled around and tweaked his nipples.

_ That _ was the tipping point.

Crying and shouting, the older man came in a most radical way. Drew reached around at the first sign of his orgasm and pumped, both extending it and making it feel even better than if Eddie had just been left to his own devices. The cum dribbled out in streams, most of it dripping down onto the couch while the remainder ended up coating his cousin's hand.

Shaking, taking short, ragged breaths, Eddie wiped sweat off of his brow onto the cushions as he recovered from his release. Through the blood rushing in his ears, he heard Drew taking his own calming breaths as he withdrew from Eddie. A keening moan behind them and a quick gasp of surprise caught his attention. In the few seconds it took for Eddie to get the energy to sit up on his hands and look behind him, Green had already snagged their shared lover and had put him to work on her.

"Oh  _ yes _ ," Shego said breathily as she pumped Drew's cock and tilted her head to let him nibble her neck, "put your cousin's cum  _ inside _ and  _ all over _ me...!" Drew was, apparently, spreading some of Eddie's seed on her stomach with a vine as three of his cum-soaked fingers massaged her slick opening.

While Eddie seriously thought that Sheegs was pretty weird for her turn-ons, he didn't begrudge her them. She was, after all, willing to share Drew with him...

As always, Eddie tried to stay awake to see what in the world his younger cousin did that helped Green get off. And, as usual, he didn't even manage a minute of watching before he wearily and happily passed out.


	3. A Not-So-Sore Ending

Bacon.

It was the first thing that Eddie thought when he regained consciousness. He groaned, giving the air another experimental sniff.

Yup, that was totally bacon. Which meant he should seriously get up and grab some.

Part of him — mostly his butt, understandably — protested the idea. The  _ rest _ of him, also understandably, was totally ravenous and completely overruled the protests. Moaning and growling, he forced himself off the couch and onto the floor. He crawled on his hands and knees to the kitchen, not bothering with hellos or anything as he pulled himself up long enough to flop his body onto the table.

"Well, hello to you too," the snarky voice of the Green Goddess said from the chair to his left.

"Mmmrshm," he replied.

"Good morning!" the disturbingly chipper voice of their partner called from what was likely the stovetop area.

"Mmmrdrm," Eddie answered, rolling his head to the left. He looked up at a bemused Shego, clad in her oriental bathrobe, who was halfway done with some grapefruits and a glass of that fancy berry juice she liked. A cup of coffee had been sitting and cooling for Green's later ingestion. Deciding to suffer her wrath rather than be a pile of lame, he snagged the cup and downed the contents in a couple swallows.

"Hey!" Sheegs glared at him for a moment before, surprisingly, relaxing. "Ah hell. I can't be angry right now." She turned toward their partner and asked, "Drew, could you-.." A vine was already handing her a freshly prepared cup from the espresso machine. A genuine smile graced her face as she affectionately said, "Thanks Love."

Drew was humming happily from wherever he was cooking. Eddie looked over at him to eye what the scientist was fixing, but was very quickly distracted by the other man's attire, or lack thereof. His male partner was wearing a full-body apron that was decorated with dancing and singing livestock... And nothing else. It was tied just above his butt, giving Eddie a pleasant view of his backside. It helped to wake him up, and he gave his cousin an appreciative whistle.

The blue man turned, a brilliant smile on his face as he looked at the motorman, and announced, "Bacon, eggs, and toast! Good, hearty breakfast food." He skipped over to the table and added with a mildly smug grin, "You must be rather...  _ Famished _ after yesterday's activities..."

"You know it, Cuz! Seriously!",” Eddie agreed as he got up from the table and settled down into one of the chairs to eat the upcoming meal. He’d forgotten that he was naked, a fact that presented itself loud and clear when he sat in the cold metal chair. A shiver and gasp of discomfort left him, not all in relation to the sudden chill, though the cool surface  _ did _ help with his sore rear end. Wincing at the unintended reminder of the prior night’s events, the motorman rubbed his buttocks, “But you totally went to town on my rear, dude. Like, I dunno man, you kinda tore some stuff pretty seriously.”

Drew looked even more smug. “Well then, next time I hope you’ll remember the pain in your ass when you consider the pain in the ass it would be to get away from Shego when she’s horny.”

“I don’t know about that, Doc,” Sheegs smirked. “I probably would’ve roasted it and pinned him down when he was tending to the burns.”

The motorhead facepalmed. Looking between the two through his fingers, he complained,“So what you’re telling me is that I seriously can’t win any way I pick?”

Green’s smirk turned a little naughty. “Now, I wouldn’t exactly say that you can't win. In fact, I would call you a  _ winner _ with any of those choices!"

Eddie grumbled to himself as his partners cackled in shared delight at his Morton's fork. Friggin' sadists.

Shego's laughter died down faster than Drew's did. Giving Eddie a more salacious grin, she gave his head a quick rub before grabbing her coffee and taking a few sips. "C'mon, ya big lug. You know we love you."

"You guys totally don't act like it sometimes," Eddie pouted, crossing his arms on the table and flopping his head on top.

"Now now," his cousin said a bit more condescendingly than Eddie cared for, "don't be like that." The mechanic stiffened for a moment as something slid its way along the back of his neck before the familiar leafy texture clued him in. The vine curled up and settled itself just behind Eddie's right ear and began to rub and stroke his neck and ear. “We do love you, Cuz.”

The motorman wanted to keep pouting longer, but he couldn’t fight the awesome massage Drew’s vine was giving him. Eddie groaned happily as he sat back up, just in time for his cousin to deposit his plate of food in front of him. The blue man soon sat at the table with his own plate of food.

“This looks awesome Cuz! Seriously!” The motorman tucked into his food almost obscenely, shoveling the eggs into his mouth like he hadn’t eaten in weeks.

“Slow down!” Drew protested. “It isn’t going to run off on you.”

“Yeah, you look like Kimmie’s buffoon eating like that,” Shego grumbled, grimacing in distaste.

“I’m sorry ***gulp*** Cuz, Sheegs, but ***snarf*** I’m _totally_ ***slurp*** hungry!” He stopped to take a gulp of air, noting, “I feel like I’m starving! Seriously got a workout when Sheegs fucked me and stuff after she watched her movie thing when she got home.”

“Hrmph.” The younger man took a few bites of his own breakfast. Pausing in thought, he looked across the table at his wife. “Speaking of which, what in the world were you doing yesterday?” 

Shego paused, pursing her lips in thought. Apparently deciding something, she shrugged and said, “Had some clients that wanted me to retrieve a certain video from a paparazzi type that was trying to blackmail them with it. Made sure it was the only copy he had before I fried his computers and crap just to be sure.” She traced the edge of her cup with a finger. “They requested that I destroy it. Said that it was a mistake on their part.” A naughty smirk, the kind she got when she knew she was doing something bad, crossed her face. “They never said anything about not watching it.”

“Okay…” Drew set his fork down, his entire attention on his wife. “What was on it?”

“Must’ve been something seriously hot,” Eddie noted. “Was it really that awesome of a turn-on for you, Sheegs?”

Shego chuckled, sitting back in her chair and giving them both a saucy smirk. “Oh, the video  _ was _ that damn kinky…”

Eddie and Drew totally shared an incredulous look. The blue man was the first to ask, “So… Are you going to let us watch it?”

Her grin only grew wider.

**ELELELELEL**

Eddie and Drew settled themselves against the backboard of the California King bed in what had been originally been Drakken’s room. They’d converted it slightly, making room so both Eddie and Shego’s personal items could fit into the space as well. 

Shego worked on the old VCR that the motorman owned, setting the tape up for them to watch. The green woman skipped over, moving so her housecoat slipped off her athletic frame, and hopped into bed, crawling between the two men and settling against them, tossing her arms around their shoulders.

“Now, watch the magic…!” she giggled as she hit play on the remote in her hand, before tossing it negligently to the nightstand.

They watched for a few minutes, during which the two men’s mouths dropped open slightly and continued to fall.

Drew was the first to say something.

“Is that Britina and the pretty O-boy?”

Shego smirked. “Yup.”

“And are they seriously dressed up like Team P?” Eddie piped up, fascinated by the unfolding scenario.

“Yes they are.”

“And… Wait…” The blue man scrunched his eyes at the over-the-top acting and sudden lack of clothing. “Are they shooting a porno?!”

“ _ Very _ much so,” Shego said lecherously, “Or, at least recording their  _ own _ sexcapades!”

The three of them quieted down again, the two men enraptured by the film.

It took another few minutes before the silence between the three was broken again.

"That's totally a hairless rat-shaped dildo!" Eddie exclaimed, waving his hands incredulously at the screen as the Kim Possible cosplayer shoved the aforementioned dildo up her ass.

" _ Naked mole rat _ -shaped dildo," Sheegs corrected with glee as she watched Drew's horror-struck face when the Ron cosplayer whipped out his cock. "Aww, what's up, Doc? Too out-there for you?"

"What?" The question pulled Drew from his thoughts, and he answered, "No! That's not it at all!" Pouting at the screen, he complained, "There is no chance that the sidekick has a twelve inch wang! This is  _ completely _ unrealistic! He lost his pants far too much for me and Shego to not have noticed. Also..." he winced as Britina was double-penetrated "...how in the world can that entire thing fit in that poor girl’s vagina? Does she have some kind of elastic power or something?”

Both Eddie and Shego snickered conspiratorially, confusing Drew entirely.

“What? What did I say?” He looked between them and pouted even harder. “Are you laughing at me?”

That only made them laugh harder, though they managed to shake their heads between the flailing and noise.

Choking, Shego gasped, “How long, not to mention  _ thick _ , do you think your vines get when they fuck us, Drew?”

Eddie chimed in, “Yeah, seriously dude. We both know that you totally don’t measure that!”

The blue man paused, surprised. His brow furrowed as he tried to think about if they were right or not. A purple flush crawled across his face as he seemed to realize just how deeply he penetrated the two most of the time.

“Erm… Good point.”

It was again quiet for a short while until the blue man quietly grunted.

“Nnngh…” Drew shifted uncomfortably. It was obvious why; he was starting to get a serious boner. Eddie couldn’t really blame him. Even as extreme as the video was getting, there was some kind of eroticism that really got the blood flowing. Eddie was having his own issue with getting turned on.

“Looks like you boys are having a bit of a problem…” Shego chuckled, her hands reaching out and rubbing both of their growing erections.

“Shego!” the younger cousin gasped. “Do you really want to do thi-..” His words choked in his throat as she reached under his briefs, and just grabbed the nude Eddie’s hard-on, massaging their cocks with startling gentleness.

“Oh yeah…” She looked between the two of them. “Don’t you?”

The two men looked at each other.

Drew’s briefs vanished almost as if by magic as they all tangled themselves with each other.

It was hot and fast, the initial part passing like a sensual blur. The blue man pumped and sucked Eddie like there was no tomorrow while Shego rode her husband bronco-style. The older man groaned, petting his male partner’s head a few times before he leaned over and gave Shego a sloppy tongue-filled kiss. She ground hard against Drew even as her hands rose from his chest to cradle Eddie’s chin for a cleaner, more sensual kiss.

It was only a few minutes before Drew, surprisingly, blew his load first, and very immodestly. He entirely gave up on the blowjob and grasped Shego’s hips. He yelled, practically screamed in ecstasy as he came in her, his own hips pumping several times. Amusingly to Eddie, it was in tandem with the woman in the porno orgasming even louder.

Shego frowned, hopping off of his cock with a disappointed grunt. “I know the video’s pretty hot, Doc, but didja have to lose it this fast?”

Drew gasped, catching his breath. A few moments later, he wiped his face and growled, “Maybe you should’ve calmed down with the grinding! It’s hard to  _ not _ cum when you’re working me over like I owe you money!”

“Uh, guys…” Eddie interrupted their usual bickering and waved at his still-raging boner. “I still gotta get off.”

“Same here,” she agreed with some frustration.

The scientist rolled his eyes. “This is stupidly easy to solve.” The other two glared at him. To his credit he didn’t flinch. “Here…” He flipped around on the bed, pulling himself under his wife, and pulled her toward him. “I’ll finish you off, Sweetie. You two figure out the rest of it.” Before either of the two could protest, he began working on getting her off.

Shego leaned over him, her hands spreading on his abdomen as his adept tongue flicked and licked with practiced ease. “Mmm… I can approve of this plan…”

“I’m feeling totally neglected here,” Eddie protested, glancing up at the screen momentarily to see the cum-soaked woman fucking her partner in the ass with the naked mole rat dildo.

“Get your tight ass over here so I can do something about it,” his female partner answered cheekily, clearly happier at being serviced by her husband.

Eddie crawled over to Shego and presented himself to her. Humming in pleasure, she wrapped a hand around his shaft and began to pump slowly with a salacious grin on her face. He wouldn’t have lasted too long with just that, but when she leaned down and added her knowledgeable mouth to the equation, he didn’t last long at all. Everything about what was happening was just too sexy, too much of a turn-on to really keep him from getting off.

Almost as soon as he began to cry out, honestly trying to warn her that he was about to blow, his seed was blasting into her mouth. What surprised him was that it seemed to send Shego over the edge, too. His own orgasm was dulled slightly when his attention was drawn to Drew’s overly enthusiastic eating out of the green woman. It was apparently really,  _ really _ good as she arched back, his cock sliding from her mouth with a loud, almost obscene popping sound. An instant later, her hand dropped from his cock as she fell back forward to ride out her orgasm. Unlike the two guys, Shego barely made a noise beyond a few whimpers of pleasure.

“Ohhhh yeah…” she finally said, laying on her doc’s chest as she recovered. “That was what I needed…

“Seriously,” Eddie sighed, leaning over and kissing the Green Goddess just under her ear.

“Mmmm…” Drew gave Shego a few more licks before he pulled himself away, licking his lips. “I never get tired of how you taste.”

“Okay, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way…” She crawled back to lean against the headboard, motioning her boys to join her. “We still have a video to finish watching…”

They were able to catch the very end of the video. It only consisted of the dirtied, worn-out, gasping and sticky pair struggling over to a large piece of cardboard. Both of them held it up. On it was scribbled in sloppy permanent marker ‘The Aristocrats’.

Naturally, the three of them cracked up.

**ELELELELEL**

Eddie woke up with a grunt. His eyes shot open in surprise, a dream that was already forgotten being the culprit of the wide eyed stare as he tried to get his bearings. It took a few moments before he was again aware of where he was and who he was with.

Sheegs had curled up against his side, her head tucked into the nook of his neck. Her hair billowed out around her in a way that made her look almost ethereally beautiful. His arms were wrapped around her hip and under her head, and her legs were tangled up in another set of blue legs.

Eddie’s younger cousin was spooning her from behind. As usual, he was lightly snoring into the back of her head and mumbling in his sleep.

The sight of both of them set the motorman’s chest aflutter, and he couldn’t keep the sappy grin off of his face. Damn, he was a lucky guy.

His attention was eventually torn away by the rather annoying noise that had been pervading the room since even before he’d woken up. The screen was buzzing in static. It was the only big downside to using his VCR in his opinion. The darn thing always did this if it was left to its own devices.

Eddie carefully extricated himself from Shego, aiming to get the remote and get the stupid thing shut off. She grumbled in protest but didn’t wake up.

He sat up and reach over her head. The remote was sitting on the headboard shelf just behind Drew. Most of the time Drew was the last to bed and the first to wake up, so it made more sense to have it on his side.

Fumbling a little, Eddie clumsily dragged the remote across the shelf and over to him. He smeared his fingers across the remote until the VCR gratefully shut off. A loud sigh of relief escaped him as he flopped back against his clumped-up pillow.

“So then, totally just had an awesome lay…” He rubbed his empty stomach. “Seriously need to get some grub. Gettin’ another serious workout like that totally burns the calories.” Shifting, he noted the stickiness that seemed spritzed around him. Cringing to himself, Eddie thought aloud, “Should probably take a shower first though. I’m seriously rank…”

A snort broke the silence around the motorman and drew his attention.

He looked over to the now-glaring, clearly awake face of his younger cousin.

“Uh… Heya Cuz,” the motorman whispered, sparing a glance at Shego as he realized that he was totally still in bed with his sleeping partners. Well, sleeping part _ ner _ now since his cousin looked to be up.

“Hello  _ Eddie _ ,” Drew grumbled in reply. He was even more careful than Eddie when he withdrew himself from around Shego, giving her a quick kiss on the ear before again glaring at the older man. “Why in the world are you being so loud?”

“Loud? Dude, c’mon. I totally cut out what was being loud. It was the freakin’ VCR!”

“Nnnngh… Why did  _ you _ have to be so noisy?” Drew complained, stretching his arms above his head. “Dropping and scraping that stupid remote across the headboard, and then talking aloud like that… I bet you  _ wanted _ to wake me up for not finishing you off earlier!”

“I was totally not noisy and I totally was not revenging on you! You’re just way too light of a sleeper, Dude,” Eddie countered. “You need to get some earplugs or something. Seriously.”

“BOTH of you need to remember that I am a right  _ bitch _ if I don’t get enough sleep…” the green woman that had been dozing between them growled as she glared up at the two arguing men.

“Erm…” The two of them looked at each other, then back down at her. They both began to shrink back as they realized their faux pas before she began laughing.

“Calm down, you dorks! I’m way too relaxed from the sex to get after your asses. This is more for… Future reference.”

“Good reminder…” Drew said with a cringe. “I didn’t mean to bother you like that, Sweetie.”

“Neither did I, Sheegs. Seriously! I was just tryin’ ta think of what I should do out loud. Decided to eat something, not sure what, after I take a shower.”

“A shower sounds like a  _ very _ good idea,” Shego said as she sat up.

“Agreed,” his younger cousin nodded.

“Okay, so we’ll all go ‘n’ wash up and stuff. Still don’t give me an answer for food stuff.” Suddenly remembering something from last night, he proclaimed, “Drew! Dude! What didja do with the pizza that you said you were gonna grab last night?”

The blue man looked a bit sheepish even as Shego laughed. “We, erm, I mean, I, ah… Ate all of it. After the thing.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes yes, I know, I shouldn’t have hogged it all,” Drew said with a pout.

“It’s for the best. Cold pizza is terrible,” the green woman noted with only a trace of a chuckle.

The two men looked at her incredulously. After sharing a look, Eddie hazarded, “So you, like, don’t like any kind of cold pizza?”

“Well duh!” Shego snorted. “I’m  _ way _ too good for that kind of crap.”

“Not even Christmas pizza?!” the mad scientist blurted as he got up from the bed and headed for the bathroom to wash up.

“What in the world is Christmas pizza?” She got up from the bed and started to follow her husband, only pausing to grab her favorite strap-on for some shower fun.

“Dude! It’s just the  _ best pizza  _ **_ever_ ** !” the motorman shouted, nearly doing an air guitar but catching himself at the last moment. He continued a bit more sheepishly as he trailed behind the two, he said, “You gotta take a home-made crust — none of that store-bought stuff ‘cause that’s seriously rank — and ya make a white sauce.” The other two made for the shower, Eddie stopping to shut the door behind him. “Mix it with some cocoa and marshmallows…”

_ Click. _


End file.
